Dear Robin Thicke...

Dear Robin Thicke,

Look man. Let's have a little heart to heart. I love your Blurred Lines single! It's hot and everything. Buuuuuuuut let's have a little intervention.

First, explain to me how you let go of this:

(Can I get a DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMN GURL!)

For this...

(AND YOU KISSED THE THOT TOO?!?! -_______- C'mon son...)

Like, help me understand how you thought THIS:

 

...would think it's okay and entertaining to have a teenager (with no ass might I add) "twerk" on you...on NATIONAL TELEVISION!?

(...don't get me started on Miley...I don't have time.)

Robin, my homie, you broke Guy Code! You never EVER leave a bad b*tch for basic b*tch. Okay, you might not have "left" her, but dude, grabbing the ass of a basic blonde with no standards and with NO ASS is not worth ruining your relationship over.

Blurred Lines is your first No. 1 single ever. Congrats! But dude, if there's one thing I've learned from following the entertainment industry, it's that the spotlight can make and break relationships.

This is your high school sweetheart. Your first love. She knew you and loved you when you were nothing and loved you even more when you became something. I can only assume that you've probably been struggling to salvage your relationship for a while now and I respect how you and Paula came to a mutual decision and didn't end with some trashy feud *coughRobertPattersonandKristenStewartcough*


All I can say is that I can only hope that distance makes your heart grow fonder.


Good luck to you, Paula, and your son.



Sincerely,

Malaika