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Wednesday, November 12, 2014

Dear Internet, Here Are 7 Things More Important Than Kim K's Ass

Dear Internet users,

This is Kim Kardashian. This is her ass. I'm pretty sure most of us have seen it before (...and a little more with her Ray J video), what else is new?

What is, nothing? Correct!

Now, I realize the irony that me even mentioning her name is only helping her #BreakTheInternet, but there are soooo many other things that we should be talking about. Here's just a few:

1. Let's talk about how Darren Wilson, the white officer who killed unarmed black teen Michael Brown on Aug. 9, is still on administrative leave.

2. Let's talk about the 46 teenage boys who were killed in Monday's suicide bombing at a school in Potiskum town in Yobe, Nigeria.

3. A growing number of retailers, several of which pay their employees minimum wage, opening or staying opening on Thanksgiving day.

4. After Veteran's Day, let's talk about the wounded U.S. veterans and family members of U.S. soldiers killed in Iraq suing five European banks for "shootings and roadside bombings because they allegedly processed Iranian money that paid for the attacks."

5. It's been six months since militant Islamist group Boko Haram kidnapped over 200 Nigerian school girls and the government has failed to rescue them.

6. Let's talk about the 43 young men slaughtered in Mexico this September in Guerrero, after police shot their buses in Iguala and turned them over to the Guerreros Unidos drug gang. 

7. For my Emory crew, let's talk about the latest Emory Crime Report of intoxicated students leaving "a party" from the Beta Theta Pi fraternity house even though there's a IFC "ban" on social events due to reported incidents (yes, plural) of sexual assult. Hmm...

And just for kicks, can we talk about who the hell chooses the winners for these MTV award shows. Like, how the hell did Justin Bieber win Best Male over Justin Timberlake AND Ed Sheeran. WHY WORLD, WHY?

Anyway, go ahead and swoon over Kim's ass while there's more important shit in the world should be breaking the internet.


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